I read an article on the Huffington Post about the "new trophy wife" and what that should mean today. First off take a stab at reading this post about what the new trophy wife really means. Then we can begin to discuss some ideas around what the ideal girlfriend or wife means these days to a successful man or successful entrepreneur. I truly believe that the idea of what a girlfriend or wife should look like has changed to a man. I am only going to talk to what I see in my life in this post. So just know I am 30 years old and most of my friends and people I associate with are in their 20s and 30s. Some are married, some are single, and some are in relationships.
Not sure if anyone has ever seen the show, The Trophy Wife but it is hilariously awesome. When I read the article on Huff Post that was the first thing I thought of. If you haven't seen it, head home and check out your on demand to get a laugh tonight. I get a kick out of it. This lady is a 30 something who is married to an "older man" who has kids and she is trying to fit in with his ex-wives and his family. She does her best to just get by and be a good step mom but her struggles are real. I think she is a good example of what a true trophy wife should be....
She might be a working mom, yes, she has a job. She is has her own aspirations in life and in her career. She is trying to be her best everyday for her- not just for her man. She is my kind of woman that I want to be friends with and introduce my single friends to :)
I don't really like the saying "trophy wife" in general. Regardless of if it meaning something different these days or not, I feel like it still has a derogatory feeling towards women because of the long standing stigma behind it. Makes me think of some beautiful, brainless woman who stays home while the man in the house works and makes the money. YUCK.
I don't think that we as a country or world can change that saying of "trophy wife" to mean something else. It is just too ingrained in the way we think. The way I test if I think a word or saying can change is fairly simple.
If you went up to someone on the street and you asked them to tell you the first thing that comes to their mind in 5 seconds when you say the words:
What do you think that person will think of in her/his head? What image will they see and describe to you?
I bet you she will be very pretty, blonde, young, and have a working man on her side. She will be well dressed and her man will be rich and be the one who "takes care of her." When there are stigmas like this to a word or to a saying it is hard to change the feeling of those words to mean something else. Stigmas take a long time to change.
That being said, I do respect what this article is saying.
There is definitely a switch in what we as a world think of when we hear the words, "trophy wife."
I have never wanted someone to take care of me. I have never wanted a man to make the money while I sit at home and do laundry and grocery shop. If I want to do those things on my own that is perfectly fine but life with your partner should be a balance, not one person doing x and one person doing y. I can't decide if I live in a skewed world though.
I am educated, I have a college education and have seen my mother have a successful career as a CFO and provide for my sister and I. For those reasons I think I am confident in myself and my abilities. Therefore, I don't personally feel the need to be this kind of woman that is a "trophy wife." I have never thought that some prince charming would come by and sweep me off my feet and give me millions of dollars for me to stay at home and get massages and do my nails. I just haven't been brought up that way. I think this feeling of women not wanting to be that kind of "trophy wife" has to do with the way women in their 20s and 30s now were brought up. There was a change and we have to continue to make those changes for our children. That way maybe in 20 more years "trophy wife" will no longer be a term used.
I don't think that many women in my life are like the traditional trophy wife. Most women in my life are independent, successful business women and some don't even have a boyfriend or husband yet. I think that is awesome and I don't think that means they aren't where they should be in life.
The women in my life are strong. They don't depend or revolve their lives around men in their life. They might be in a relationship or might be single. Regardless I don't know many women who pride their selves on just their relationship with their boyfriend or husband. That might be a big part of their life but it is not everything.
Men want strong, independent and successful women by their side. I don't know any man who sees joy in making their partner stay in and cook them dinner every single night. I think most relationships are a balancing act these days.
- Just being pretty won't get you to success these days and for that I am thankful.
- The days of just using your looks to get by are long gone. WOO HOO!
- Men want a woman who is strong and successful on their own. Hell YEA!
- Someone they can be proud of. Someone they can talk about and talk about her work and once again be proud of her intelligence and what she is doing with her professional and personal life. DAMN STRAIGHT!
- Men today want equality. hallelujah!
- Women can make more money than the man in the house. Your man should be okay with that. Smart men marry smart women.
Most men I know are turned on and attracted to women with their own career, their own life and their own goals. A relationship does not define today's ideal woman, it is just part of that person.
Today's woman wants equality in a relationship and so does the man.